Episode 57 – The Blue Fish

Episode 57  –  Everyone with time in the lifestyle has heard of the unicorn.  A single female woman that participate in the swinging lifestyle, often considered a mythical creature.  However, in our area of the world we us the term “Blue Fish” to describe the single male that serves the same purpose.  In this episode, Danielle and I speak with a former single male who many would say was a good representation of the single male.. The blue fish.


Small Talk





SDC – Swingers Date Club


A Life Less Monogamous – promo code HIDDEN

Rate us on iTunes


Episode 56 – Anal in the Lifestyle

Anal sex is on the rise in our society.  Yet, many women in the lifestyle only do anal sex with their spouses.  In this episode we discuss a listener letter, our experience with anal in the lifestyle, and share a sexy story where Jen experienced a little anal fun.


Shoutout –

Swinging Down Under

Small Talk







A Life Less Monogamous – Cooper Beckett – Promo Code: HIDDEN

Final comments

Episode 55 – The Unicorn

Episode 55 – Shh.. Ah, the mythical unicorn.. In the Swinging Lifestyle the unicorn is a single female who participates with couples and other singles.  They are the object of many couples desires as they can help fulfill that often sought after fantasy of the fmf threesome.  But, in this episode Danielle and I have a unicorn in the studio to discuss the lifestyle from her perspective.  

Small Talk


First topic – Inside the Unicorn

  • How did you get into the lifestyle
    • How long
    • How did the lifestyle differ from what you first thought it might be like?
  • Do you get more invitations than you would want?  Is there a backlog?
    • Many couples think that unicorns are not interested because they get enough “action”
    • What is a couples best chance at getting to meet up with a unicorn?
  • How is being a unicorn different than being in the LS as a couple?
    • Are there negatives to being a unicorn?
    • Positives?

Me Undies

Second Topic – From the couple’s perpective

  • Expectations
    • When you go on a date with a couple, what are your expectations?
    • Do you go into the date thinking that the couple is planning sex?
  • Dinner
    • Who pays for dinner and drinks?
    • What is the best seating order?
    • Is it better in a secluded area or does it matter?
  • Male centric
    • Do you find yourself flirting with the male, female, neither?
    • Do you feel awkward since the wife is there?
    • Who should go the next step?


Third Topic – Being a unicorn

  • What would you want others to know about being a unicorn?
    • Other single women
    • Couple
  • Are unicorns just looking for a husband?
    • Give an example
    • How do you keep the expectations straight?

A Life Less Monogamous – Cooper Beckett – Promo Code: HIDDEN

Final comments


The “Dark” Ages of Swinging

Awesome letter from our friend Tony

Back before the internet and even BBS, (ahhh, the good old days), Swingers connected through various means. A lot of it was word of mouth, much like Gaydar, Swingers and kinksters have had a 6th sense about who may be interested.

Of course we have all heard of the infamous “Key Parties” and Wife Swapping Parties. Yes as you and Danielle eluded too, at one time it was about the guys, You wanted to fuck another woman, you’d “talk” your wife into going to a party, back then women were a bit more subservient as this was the culture that everyone lived by. So if hubby said lets do this, wifey said OK. It has evolved to a female driven activity due to the sexual/feminist revolution of the 60’s and 70’s. Once women were told, and accepted that they were allowed to enjoy sex, the dynamic changed and I believe it changed all for the better. But I digress.

I wrote to talk a little about swinger contact magazines.

I was very much single & used them back in the day. It was expensive to hook up and time consuming.

You would have to place an add in the regional copy or copies, depending on how far you were interested in going.

As usual, couples or single women couple advertise free but single men paid. I forget how much and for how many issues.

You had to send a verified picture similarly to what you do for Kasidie.

It might take 2 – 3 months for your ad to appear, I believe they published monthly.

They would publish your ad with an ID # no names were used, and a pic if you wanted one. A lot didn’t post a pic cause it wasn’t easy to crop or edit a pic back then.

If you saw an ad you were interested in, or someone was interested in you, you would write them a LETTER!!!!, For those who don’t know, a LETTER was an email on paper.

You would put it in an envelope with the ID# of the person you wanted to contact and send that to the magazine publisher along with a coupon, in the case of the mags that I used, that listed your name, and ID# for each letter you were sending and cash or a postal money order to protect your anonymity in case the mail got lost. You would put all of that in another envelope addressed to the publisher. The fee was used to help offset the costs of the publisher as well as pay postage to forward your letter. Some magazines required you to put postage on yourself as well as include a self addressed stamped envelope for any replies.You could also include a picture or two in your letter if you wanted to, but it was not a requirement and depended on what the person who’s ad you were replying to requested. Some asked for at least a G rated photo to prove you were real.

IF all went well, a few weeks later you would get a reply back in the affirmative and you could then start up a personal correspondence or conversation.

There were still a lot of frauds, as there are today. I know as a single,most of the letters I would receive and some of the replies, would be from what today we would call spammers. Companies that would contact you with a picture of a cute girl saying she would love to meet you but was busy on out of town business but would be happy to send you more” Personal” pictures…..For a Fee of course.

As a side note, yes back then hairy VJ was the norm. Get a copy of The Joy Of Sex and look at the art work for a great laugh and view of the cultural norm back then.

I did get some legitimate contacts but it was difficult then as today for a single guy. Most wanted to full swap so a female was involved and Bi-Girls were just starting to be “a thing” There was absolutely no Guy stuff and most couples didn’t seem to want 3 ways for fear there would be accidental sword crossing and the guys would become gay. LOL, yes it’s a joke but it was and I think still is an underlying attitude today.

Once computers became more widespread then the BBS, system took over the magazines and finally AOL and SIG’s, (Special Interest Groups), became the way to connect. Thanks to the much maligned AOL, we now have swinger sites like Kasidie, SDC, SLS and all the regional sites.

I know this rambled a bit and I probably missed something I wanted to describe but had a squirrel moment.

Episode 54 – Swinger Safari


Several months ago we sat down with Brian and Kristen of Swinger Safari and talked to them about their fascinating, award winning app called Swinger Safari.  Swinger Safari is an app that allows you to connect to other swingers quickly through a visual app.  Check it out!

We talked with them about Couples Cruise cruises, Naughty in Nawlin, and how their app might help businesses and swingers connect more easily.  We also talk to them about the privacy issue and they explain how they have taken all that into account.



Episode 53 – Swinging Back in the Day

Episode 53 – In 2016 we enjoy many social norms and technologies that we did not have 20 years ago.  We take some of that for granted.  The  lifestyle certainly has matured through social revolutions, better technology, and more communication but in other ways we have taken some steps back.. In this episode Danielle and I explore how the lifestyle has changed over the years.

Small Talk

  • Do you like having your toes sucked and your ass licked?
    • Over 300 votes
      • 73% – Favorable
      • 66% – .Into butt licking
      • 21% – Fuck no
  • Contact info



  • Shaving
    • I dont remember people shaving their hair the way they do today.
    • Danielle says that Sex in the City may have helped change that.
    • Waxing
      • Brazillion
  • Electronic Bulletin Boards
    • List of different boards were floated around.
    • Much like forums today, LS bulletin boards allowed couples to flirt and advertise themselves.
    • Meet up with Mr BDSM
      • Great rope work
  • America Online or AOL
    • Better groups
    • More access to pictures
  • Pictures
    • Cameras phone did not exist like it does today
    • Many used Polaroids
      • Some people made extra cash scanning Polaroids into digital format for other swingers.


Hooking Up Anonymously

  • Descriptions
    • Most people described themselves in text.
    • Polaroids
      • Kinkos.
  • Best Friends
    • We would hook up with couples that had kids of similar age.
    • Spend weekends at their house with them and all our kids.
  • Sometimes pics are too good
    • Lightroom.
    • Extra smoothing.
    • Angles.
  • AOL
    • Made access easier with pics.
    • Group rooms based on location.
    • A/S/L
  • Taking chances
    • Back it the day more people took chances.
    • In 2016, people seem to not be willing to take chances.
    • More options – Grass is greener

A Life Less Monogamous – Promo Code “HIDDEN”


  • Best 90s experience
    • The fire fighter and the nurse
      • Sexy caterpillar
      • What happen to get to know you games?
  • OKC had two or three in the 90s
    • Names change, clubs remain.
      • Danielle refers to the dance fun as “5th grade dance”.
    • The jail house scene.
    • I think that clubs we’re more unique with different options.
      • I would love to see the Jello Wrestling that Bonnie and Clyde from StarUnderground put on.
  • Danielles perception
    • Based on conversations with old timer swingers.
    • Write in and tell us how your experiences have changed


Final comments

  • Comments
    • Communication has changed swinging.
  • What do you miss about the old way of swinging?
    • People taking chances rather than looking at the picture and not having interest.
    • Danielle prefers posting pics that might under “sell” herself.
  • Social Media has changed everything
    • Once we  started friending other swingers on Social Media, we began to get to know more people
    • Dangers in that.
    • Reddit conversation about crazies outting other swingers.
  • Everything we talked about is in the show notes.
  • Rate us on iTunes

Episode 52 – Social Swinging

Episode 52 – For many, swinging is something that is done with some of their closest friends.  They have no interest in the stranger hookup.  But other couples are in swinging for the excitement of the hunt.  In this episode we’ll discuss the two types of swinging and why you may not have to choose.  We’ll also talk about some sexy fun we had at a local club.

Small Talk

  • Shout out
    • All the sexy couples heading out on the MSC Divina with Couples Cruise on April 17, 2016.
  • News
    • Loving the new episodes with Danielle
  • Contact info
  • Social Swinging – Swinging that is more than just sex.  Going out with friends
    • Heard of this called Progressive Swinging


  • First topic – Social Swinging
  • Second Topic – Hookup Swinging
  • Third Topic – Combining the two.  Our club experience
  • Final comments
    • Everything we talked about is in the show notes.
    • Rate us on iTunes

Episode 51 – Introducing Danielle

Episode 51

Podcast Intro – That age old saying, “Real life comes first” but swinging is our real life and sometimes other things still get in the way. In this episode we talk about changes to The Hidden Swing and introduce our little friend.. Danielle


A Life Less Monogamous – A Novel by Cooper Beckett  – CODE:  HIDDEN



Listener question

I stumbled across your podcast and you guys are incredible. We have put our toes in the water and have had fun. My wife has always been turned on by women and that has been our icebreaker. My issue is she keeps pulling back from the lifestyle activities. We have a great sex life’s getter, and when we have played with others, she has always had a good time, but she says she feels jealous when she sees me interact with another woman. I don’t have that issue when she is with another guy. In fact I dig it. I have explained that the thing I like about it is the living sexy part. I really don’t care if I never fuck another woman, as long as we are hanging with other lifestyle people. I just like that part of it. Her response is that she feels obligated to play if we meet other lifestyle people. She is afraid others will think we are leading them on if we get together and she doesn’t want to play going in. I hear is its about attitude, not actions. It totally makes sense. How do I get buy in to that mentality. Another thing, I don’t have any trouble communicating, except she gets tired of me bringing up the subject.

Move as fast as the slowest person
The lifestyle isn’t something you do, its an attitude

Rate us on iTunes

Episode 50 – Half a hundred.. as the Sooners say.. for us its #SexyPolls

Sexy Polls


Small Talk


First topic – Would you be ok with your adult kids swinging?

Second Topic – What is the average age of swingers?

Third Topic: Are all Consensual Non Monogamous perceived the same

Final comments

  • Comments
  • Everything we talked about is in the show notes.
  • Rate us on iTunes


Episode 49 – Lifestyle Cruises

Affiliates for this episode

Small Talk

  • Contact info
  • Cruises
    • Couples Cruise – 2014 Independence of the Seas
    • 20 million people cruise each year.
  • Top 3 reasons people take a cruise
    • Affordable way to see multiple destinations
    • Food
    • Activities on the cruise

First Topic – Pre Cruise Perceptions

  • Jen
    • Can I be naked everywhere?
      • Away from port you can be naked in the pool area
      • Play rooms
      • But sexy scantly everywhere else
      • In port you have to be covered up
  • Couples Cruise
    • Bob and Tess organize this sexy event
    • Seem to leave in the early spring time frame from Florida
  • Everybody Swing
    • We were listening to them and got the idea to book and did immediately.
  • Booking a cruise
    • Put your down payment down which is a pretty small amount
    • Regularly scheduled payments come out on a schedule
    • Join Facebook groups or Alreadybooked.com to meet other swingers going on that cruise.
    • You can do excursions early or wait until you are on the ship
      • If you are flexible about what you want to do, then wait until you are on the ship
    • Drink packages
      • Are tiered
        • Soda and Coffee packages
        • Premier Package
          • Lower end alcohol, stuff most people drink
          • They DONT have fruit flys in ANY of their drinks.. I was kidding.
        • Ultimate Package
          • Everything
    • Clothes
      • There are themes so you’ll still be bringing lots of clothes
        • Such as
          • Marti Gras night
      • Formal nights
        • Could be slacks and a dress shirt
        • Could be a tux which you can rent on board

Second Topic – Embarkation

  • Start of the cruise
    • Starts with pre cruise hotels
    • Party bus to the port
    • Lifestyle cruises regularly have 3000 plus passengers.
      • That is a LOT of swingers
    • Everyone is so friendly
      • Unlike regular vacations people want to talk to you
    • Carry on luggage
      • Bring things that you need access to
        • Swim suit
        • Meds
        • Your baggage wont be in your room until later in the day
  • On the ship
    • The Promenade
      • The Independence of the Seas promenade was beautiful ship
    • Grab a drink
      • There will be a lot of people by the pools getting drinks
        • It will take a lot of time
        • Take the elevator to a lower floor and get your drinks
          • Saves time
    • Food
      • Buffets
      • Pizza
      • Specialty restaurants
      • Main dining
        • You are seated with other people
        • Good opportunity to meet people
        • Eat all you want
      • Most of the food is included in the price
    • Rooms
      • You cant really get a bad room
        • We recommend the inside promenade rooms because you can still look out
        • Some ships have virtual balconies where it appears you are looking out to the ocean
      • Decorate your outside door so other swingers know where to find you
        • Walls are metal, use magnets
      • You wont spend too much time in your room
    • Bars and Play Room
      • Bars
        • Karaoke bars
        • Latin dance bars
      • Party rooms
        • Main play room
          • Lots of beds
          • Elegant
          • People to clean up after you
        • Dungeon
          • Place to sit and watch
          • People to help you get started if you are new to BDSM
        • Dark Room
      • Excursions
        • Some of them are regular excursions
        • Some are swinger specific and allow nudity
        • We recommend booking them on board if you are flexible

Third topic – Questions

  • What is the age range on a cruise
    • It varies from 20s to 60+
      • Go to a mall and look around.  Everyone that is 20 and above you’ll see on a cruise
      • Most are thirties and forties
  • Will I get seasick?
    • Maybe but it wasnt too bad
      • The ship doesnt move much when they are large
    • Bring seasickness meds or buy it on board
  • Arent they expensive?
    • Not really.
      • Cruises are about on board with regular cruises.  Roughly 1500 per couple
      • Alcohol packages cost quite a bit
      • Excursions will add it that.
    • Pay off plans
  • Are they all inclusive?
    • Mostly
      • You can cruise and pay nothing else
      • But, you’ll pay more for soft drinks, alcohol, some foods
      • I would suggest at least getting the soft drink package

Final comments

  • OUT of questions.. if we missed yours then resend it.
  • Rate us on iTunes