Awesome letter from our friend Tony
Back before the internet and even BBS, (ahhh, the good old days), Swingers connected through various means. A lot of it was word of mouth, much like Gaydar, Swingers and kinksters have had a 6th sense about who may be interested.
Of course we have all heard of the infamous “Key Parties” and Wife Swapping Parties. Yes as you and Danielle eluded too, at one time it was about the guys, You wanted to fuck another woman, you’d “talk” your wife into going to a party, back then women were a bit more subservient as this was the culture that everyone lived by. So if hubby said lets do this, wifey said OK. It has evolved to a female driven activity due to the sexual/feminist revolution of the 60’s and 70’s. Once women were told, and accepted that they were allowed to enjoy sex, the dynamic changed and I believe it changed all for the better. But I digress.
I wrote to talk a little about swinger contact magazines.
I was very much single & used them back in the day. It was expensive to hook up and time consuming.
You would have to place an add in the regional copy or copies, depending on how far you were interested in going.
As usual, couples or single women couple advertise free but single men paid. I forget how much and for how many issues.
You had to send a verified picture similarly to what you do for Kasidie.
It might take 2 – 3 months for your ad to appear, I believe they published monthly.
They would publish your ad with an ID # no names were used, and a pic if you wanted one. A lot didn’t post a pic cause it wasn’t easy to crop or edit a pic back then.
If you saw an ad you were interested in, or someone was interested in you, you would write them a LETTER!!!!, For those who don’t know, a LETTER was an email on paper.
You would put it in an envelope with the ID# of the person you wanted to contact and send that to the magazine publisher along with a coupon, in the case of the mags that I used, that listed your name, and ID# for each letter you were sending and cash or a postal money order to protect your anonymity in case the mail got lost. You would put all of that in another envelope addressed to the publisher. The fee was used to help offset the costs of the publisher as well as pay postage to forward your letter. Some magazines required you to put postage on yourself as well as include a self addressed stamped envelope for any replies.You could also include a picture or two in your letter if you wanted to, but it was not a requirement and depended on what the person who’s ad you were replying to requested. Some asked for at least a G rated photo to prove you were real.
IF all went well, a few weeks later you would get a reply back in the affirmative and you could then start up a personal correspondence or conversation.
There were still a lot of frauds, as there are today. I know as a single,most of the letters I would receive and some of the replies, would be from what today we would call spammers. Companies that would contact you with a picture of a cute girl saying she would love to meet you but was busy on out of town business but would be happy to send you more” Personal” pictures…..For a Fee of course.
As a side note, yes back then hairy VJ was the norm. Get a copy of The Joy Of Sex and look at the art work for a great laugh and view of the cultural norm back then.
I did get some legitimate contacts but it was difficult then as today for a single guy. Most wanted to full swap so a female was involved and Bi-Girls were just starting to be “a thing” There was absolutely no Guy stuff and most couples didn’t seem to want 3 ways for fear there would be accidental sword crossing and the guys would become gay. LOL, yes it’s a joke but it was and I think still is an underlying attitude today.
Once computers became more widespread then the BBS, system took over the magazines and finally AOL and SIG’s, (Special Interest Groups), became the way to connect. Thanks to the much maligned AOL, we now have swinger sites like Kasidie, SDC, SLS and all the regional sites.
I know this rambled a bit and I probably missed something I wanted to describe but had a squirrel moment.