Three Ways to Spice Up Your Search for Couples

When new couples decide to enter into the lifestyle, they usually do so with a lot of excitement and anticipation for the adventures that they will soon experience.  Couples routinely join for various reasons.  Some couples join because they are bored with their day to day sex lives and want to add excitement.  Other couples enjoy their sex life, but just want to spice it up.  In the beginning many of these couples will find themselves together in front of an online dating site such as or eagerly trying to find their first couples.

In time that excitement can turn into boredom or disappointment for one or the other and the couple that hunts together plays together turns into a one man (or woman) operation.  The reasons can be many but certainly each couple has to come to an understanding about how they are going to go about finding other couples to play with, if there is going to be play.

Early in our journey Jennifer and I would sit down in front of the computer entering search after search, and sending out emails to the select couples that we could both agree on.  There was a lot of play time in the beginning and sometimes when we selected a couple it would be exactly what we expected, and other times it was an evening of disappointment.  As the months went by Jennifer because less interested in searching date sites.  True, we had lots of dates but the good/bad ratio was not what she was expecting and the amount of people that would not respond at all was surprising.

Continue reading ‘Three Ways to Spice Up Your Search for Couples’ »

Episode 71 – This is the End

An episode that was going to start with snippet of The Doors, “This is the End” but Jim was just too lazy.  That’s right, the final episode.  Everything has to come to an end eventually and that’s true for The Hidden Swing as well.  We want to thank you, our listeners and friends for sticking with us almost four years.

We feel like we have reached a point where we have nothing left to say about the lifestyle.  We’ve covered all sorts of relationship issues, threesomes, foursomes, orgies, and blue fish encounters.  We’ve talked about nasty diseases and the importance of protection.  I can count how many times we’ve talked about how to talk your significant other into swinging (SO DON’T), but we have.. and enjoyed every minute of it.  But there comes a time when one door must close so others can open.

What a fantastic time to shut the door on The Hidden Swing.  There have never been so many options of lifestyle podcasts to listen to.  We feel like you are in much better hands, than those of ours.

Finally, thank you to my co host Jennifer and Danielle.  Jennifer has been my best friend and love for 17 years.  What I didn’t expect was what a great friend I would find in Danielle.  I love her and her husband more than most people know.  She came on and kept us going much longer than I expected.

So, we won’t be recording at Club Eden and we will not be doing a pub crawl with our friends at Average Swingers.  We WILL be on the Bliss Cruise in March 2017 and we WILL be at Naughty In Nawlins.  You’ll be able to download episodes until May 2017 (I believe) but when I have to sink more money into subscriptions, this podcast will end.  Would love to be on others podcasts from time to time so if you would like that, contact me on Twitter or email at

Love every one of you.


Episode 70 – We Are Not on the Same Page

Episode 70 – When couples get into the lifestyle there is a rush of excitement and curiosity about what is to come.  As time progresses, some couples feel different levels of interest in the lifestyle and sometimes one spouse will decide they are no longer interested in playing.  In this episode, Danielle and I discuss a listener question that asks; What if my wife no longer wants to play.  

Small Talk

  • Opening
    • Swingers and Christmas Gifts
      • Do you?
        • What would make a good gift?
        • Dirty Santa
  • News
  • Contact info
  • Tonights show
    • Another listener question
    • The LS is not always fun
    • Sometimes couples find themselves in situations where one wants to play and the other is done.

Segment 1:  Amazon

  • Listener Questions:  My wife and I have LS friends we play with that have been obviously struggling for a while now. She stays in the LS because she likes to party and her friends are in the LS but she doesn’t want to play anymore.  He still wants to play and does but he leaves her out during any play time.  He acts like she isn’t even there.  Should we continue to play with this couple?  What would you tell them?
  • The the disclaimer that this is for entertainment purposes only.  Wow, tough question.
  • Talk about what you would tell the writer of the question first

Segment 2: MeUndies

  • Discuss couples that are differening ideas about being in the LS
  • They need lots of conversation
  • If they are not okay with hubby playing they need to get out.
  • If they are ok then there are options
  • But, true feelings need to be out in the open and if one says no more, no more

Final comments – Swingers Date Club

Episode 69 – Hall Passes and Separate Play

Episode 69 – There are many different styles of play in the lifestyle.  Most couples prefer to play same room.  But every now and then you’ll meet couples that prefer separate room or even hall passes, date, or many other sexy scenarios.  In this episode Jennifer and I discuss separate room and hall passes.  As an aside, Jennifer might sound out of it in this episode.. Big bad straight man made her record while she had bronchitis.. I’ve got a schedule to keep.  Enjoy.

Small Talk

  • Shout Out
    • Bliss Cruise
      • The Hidden Swing is cruising on the March 2017 Bliss Cruise to Coz and Progresso.  Hit us up if you are on that cruise or know of any FB groups regarding the cruise.
    • NiN
      • The Hidden Swing will be traveling en masse, hopefully, to New Orleans in July 2017 to celebrate the fourth and party with sexy swingers.
    • Average Swingers / Hidden Swing Pub Crawl in OKC April 1st
  • News
    • Like our Facebook page
    • You can listen to us on
      • iTunes
      • Stitcher
      • Now on Google Play
  • Contact info

Segment 1: – Separate Play –

  • Most couples prefer playing together
    • See your partner
    • More erotic
  • Advantages of separate play
    • More intimacy
    • Less pressure
    • Not a race
  • Disadvantages
    • Jealousy
    • Intimacy
    • Feeling insecure

Segment 2: – Hall Passes – Swingers Date Club

  • Long distance partners
  • Couples with kids
  • Casual dating

Final comments – MeUndies

  • Join us on The Bliss Cruise in 2017 
  • Come to The Average Swingers, Hidden Swing pub crawl in OKC on April 1st.. No foolin.
  • Rate us on iTunes

Episode 68 – Listener Questions

Episode 68 – The Hidden Swing has always been about sexy stories and offering advice on managing the ups and downs of the swinging lifestyle.  Its for that reason that one of the greatest thrills for us is answering listener questions.  In this episode Danielle and I talk about how expensive the lifestyle can be, and answer the question “Why does everyone drink so much?”

BONUS Easter Egg Conversation at the end of this episode – Danielle gets the giggles

Small Talk

  • Opening
    • Listener Questions
      • This episode based of a listener email
        • Is the LS for the rich
        • Why does everyone drink so damn much
  • News
  • Contact info

Segment 1:  Is the LS only for the rich

  • Who is the LS
    • Go to a mall and look around
      • Its the same type of subsection you see at LS clubs.. Minus kids and the super elderly
    • Most are 30s and 40s with average jobs
    • Its the same as going to dinner with friends
  • Younger Adults
    • Have children
    • Maybe not an established career
    • My young swinger story
  • LS Sites
    • Get free time on Kasidie or SDC through The Hidden Swing
    • Memberships are less than 20 a month
    • Meet up with couples to go to dinner
    • Host your own party
    • Take a float trip
    • Organize your own events
    • Meet and Greets

Segment 2: Why does everyone drink so much

  • Its social lube
  • No one wants to fuck someone that’s shit faced
  • Blondes
    • You can decide that you only want to play with blondes
      • But you’ve shortened your playing field
    • You can decide that you will only play with people that don’t drink at all
      • But you’ve shortened your playing field
  • No one wants to be the slobbery drunk
  • Danielle falls off the PC train..

Segment 3: Drama

  • We briefly talk about how alcohol messes up relationships.
  • If you’re drunk, you’re not communicating
  • Its okay to argue, but don’t do it in front of your LS friends.
  • Play the “What If” game

Final comments –

  • Events
    • Naughty in Nawlins – July 4-9 2017
    • Blogger Couple – Lifestyle Virgin – Great blog about the lifestyle.. Check them out.
    • Bliss Cruise – March 20 – 25 2017 – Come party with us
    • April no Fools – The Hidden Swing/Average Swingers OKC Pub Crawl – April 1 2017
  • Rate us on iTunes

Episode 67 – Couplicious & Hot Couple

  • Shout Out
    • Couplicious
      • TY for introducing us to your fun game.  If you havent looked into this game it is actually one of the FUN ice breaker games out there.. We’ll be reviewing it in this episode.
    • Bliss Cruise
      • The Hidden Swing is cruising on the March 2017 Bliss Cruise to Coz and Progresso.  Hit us up if you are on that cruise or know of any FB groups regarding the cruise.
    • NiN
      • The Hidden Swing will be traveling en masse to New Orleans in July 2017 to celebrate the fourth and party with sexy swingers.
    • Average Swingers / Hidden Swing Pub Crawl in OKC April 1st
  • News
  • Contact info

Segment 1: –

  • Thinking outside your box
  • Being real about what you want
  • Settling

Segment 2: – Swingers Date Club

  • Is that couple TOO hot?
  • Feeling nervous, doubtful
  • Chance encounter leads to more conversation

Segment 3: – MeUndies

  • The hook up
  • Solid connections
  • Total confidence
  • The Story

Final comments

Episode 66 – Getting to Yes, How has the lifestyle changed you, and Halloween

Small Talk

  • Opening
    • Taking breaks
      • Life Happens
      • We produce on our own time, when we have something to say
  • News
  • Contact info
  • Tonights show
    • Closing the Deal
    • How the LS Changes a Person
    • Halloween

Segment 1:  Closing the Deal

  • Everyone is nervous
  • If your conversation last more than 5 mins, you’re probably both interested
  • It doesn’t all have to lead to sex
  • Just ask

Segment 2: How the LS Changes You

  • Energizes your life
  • Makes you more confident
  • Makes you think about being more fit
  • Makes you more of a drunk

Final comments – Halloween

  • Halloween
    • Costume
    • Plans
  • Rate us on iTunes

Episode 65 – #TTChat Questions Answered


Episode 65 – A couple times a month, the good people over at Topless Travel host a twitter chat that allows podcasters, bloggers, and sexy sexy swingers to answer questions about the LS by using the hashtag #TTChat. In this episode, Jennifer and I explore our answers to their questions and share that with you.

  • Topless Travel
    • A couple times a month, Topless Travel hosts #TTChat to discuss topics in the lifestyle. How do you see this TTChat?.
  • Bliss Cruise
    • The Hidden Swing is cruising on the March 2017 Bliss Cruise to Coz and Progresso. Hit us up if you are on that cruise or know of any FB groups regarding the cruise.
  • News
    • Like our Facebook page
      You can listen to us on

      • iTunes
      • Stitcher
      • Now on Google Play
      • Contact info

Segment 1: –

Q1: Have you ever had any issues regarding consent with your partner or another couple?

Q2: Did you ever experience a complete communication breakdown between your partner or another couple?

Q3: Were you ever in a situation where you someone found your online swinger profiles? How did you handle it?

Q4: What are your thoughts on swinger parties with drugs and alcohol involved? Do you try avoiding them?

Segment 2: – MeUndies

Q5: Have you ever been in a bad situation involving STDs at swinger parties? How would you handle it?

Q6: How many times have you had issues where someone refused to put on a condom or a condom breaks during intercourse?

Q7: Have you ever been in any extreme situations where you considered stepping away from the lifestyle?

Q8: What are some things that can done to reverse the bad reputation of swinging in the vanilla world?

Final comments – Swingers Date Club

Thank you for the support during our break.
People love that we are real in our discussions.
Join us on The Bliss Cruise in 2017 –
Rate us on iTunes

Episode 64 – Meet and Greet in OKC

Small Talk

Segment 1: –

  • Setting the stage
  • Newbie Couples
  • Cliques
    • We talked to a new couple about cliques.
  • Recognition.
    • Butts and Boobs

Segment 2: – MeUndies

  • We hit a Swirl Bar called Sherlocks in OKC
  • Damn good band –The Brown Note

Segment 3: – SDC Swingers Date Club

  • Our first soft swap experience

Final comments

Performance Anxiety in the Lifestyle

ths_squareWhile I was editing “Episode 63 – Group Sex” of The Hidden Swing Podcast I realized an ongoing theme in the episode. That of performance issues and erectile dysfunction. I often feel like I am the token male of those that have performance anxiety and sometimes that does bother me. It shouldn’t, according to the majority of females I have talked to in the lifestyle I am in the majority. Most men do have, at times, issues with performance. I guess I have taken up the torch to defend men, the majority of men, who do at times have issues getting erect. It is nothing to be ashamed of for sure, but that is no consolation when it is happening.

The bulk of ED comes in a a few flavors. Statistically a few men have ED because of health issues, a few more have issues (in the lifestyle in particular) because of over intoxication, but the bulk of performance issues is due to anxiety. I rarely have issue these days. When I do it is often because I allowed myself to be in situations I am not comfortable with. I love a challenge, and while that sometimes sucks for the lady I am with.. I like to push myself.

Here are three ways I have taken control of performance anxiety: Continue reading ‘Performance Anxiety in the Lifestyle’ »